How To Give Your Husband Daily Attention
I’ve spoken about having acceptance for your husband, admiration for your husband and appreciation for your husband; however, there are other principles that I would like to add to the list of daily deposits. This deposit is attention.
Wives are wonderful at showing attention to their husbands before marriage. Before marriage, wives are lingering on the very word their fiancée utters, they notice if he gets a new shirt and they comment if he trims his beard. When it comes down to work, wives would be ready to listen to the horror stories and funny stories of their fiancée without complaint.
After marriage, husbands have competition for the attention of their wife. Once children are added to the family, it is more of a struggle for the husband to receive attention. It is mainly the children that receive most of the attention from the wife. You may be protesting, “My husband pays attention to other things too. What can I do about that?” Its such a valid question.
In working on ourselves as wives, we must focus on the one person we can change, ourselves.
There are endless ways to give your husband back the attention that he deserves. We can start with showing interest in the details of his work. Keep in mind from the last articles, your husband’s work is important to him because this is how he provides for you and the family. Showing interest in the one area of his life that he cares about, makes a difference in how he accepts the attention you give.
Other areas to show interest in are his:
- hobbies
- food preferences
- thoughts
- feelings
- comforts
- opinions
If your anything like some of the women I have spoken with in the past, they are only concerned with their husband’s job if a sexy co-worker has been hired or if he will be getting a raise. The routine questions about work, in general, are never considered and are not of interest to many wives. Some wives zone in and out of the conversation for the sake of appearing interested while rolling their eyes after 3 minutes.
Listening to your husband is like playing tennis. Your husband serves you with an experience that he is focused on and is now bringing to your attention. You now have the option to end the game ( agreeing or quickly disagreeing to dismiss the conversation) or you have the option of serving back ( by asking engaging questions). The whole goal of you showing attention is to serve the tennis ball back to your husband.
Good listening and showing attention require eye contact, engaged body language and open questions such as:
- Tell me what you did?
- What happened when you did that?
- What was it like?
- What did they say?
This will require you to look at him without your phone in your hand. Don’t look away obsessively or text while he’s talking to you. Can you imagine how you would feel if he did that to you? If your phone rings, ignore it or let the person who is calling know that you are speaking with your husband and you will return their call when available.
If you must take the call, let your husband know that you want to finish up the conversation as soon as you are finished on the phone. When you come back, pick up where you left off, i.e. “Okay babe. You said the customer called to complain and then what?”
Giving attention is not only limited to conversations. Showing attention to your husband also means you are showing awareness for his presence, and for who he is in your life.
My husband tells stories that I’ve heard so many times, yet I listen like its my first time hearing it. You can do this same thing. When your husband tells a joke or a story in front of a group of people, listen and laugh as if its your first time hearing it. This will show others around you how much you show attention to your husband and are interested in what he has to say. Do not comment remarks about you already hearing the story and don’t try to change the conversation. This is completely embarrassing to your husband and will surely emasculate him.
Return to the little favors you did for your husband before marriage. Some wives stop doing the nice things they did before marriage. Make him feel like a king even if that means making his favorite dish just the way he likes it. You can start this by serving him before the children! He wants to be the center of your life, not your decorating, weight-loss, the children, your social calendar. All humans crave someone who is interested in their details- to know and to care.
Wives have tons of opportunities to listen to their husbands and give their husbands the attention they deserve. Make him feel that no one else in the world can come close to the caring and knowing of him like you do.
With all, plan pleasures and delights for him; Save your best energy for your husband; Run him a bath; Make him a refreshing drink.
Plant the seeds of staying focused to be a committed and attentive wife and watch how everything changes for you.